Family

Third Wish Photo Fundraising Service

September 9, 2011 By April 2 Comments

See I have this friend, Dana, who is hands down one of the most talented mommas around. She can write in a style that will leave you wanting more every time. And the pictures she takes are truly inspired! I am so glad she’s my friend. Her story is different from alot of moms I know. Most of the time I can’t even begin to understand what it’s like to be a mom in her shoes. She is a non custodial parent of two and a single mom of one. It’s hard to watch her go through tough times without her boys. That’s probably why when her youngest smiles it rocks her whole world! The helplessness she feels sometimes has to be filled with the hope that little man gives her when he smiles. God sent him to her to remind her of His promises, to remind her that she is not forsaken and her struggle isn’t in vain nor is she alone. He is with her.

So, if you want to have some pics taken of your family, or if you want to do a fundraiser for a business or charity you want to help, get in touch with her about her great photo opportunities through Third Wish, Inc. You won’t regret it!

Filed Under: Family, Featured, My Blogging Friends, Photography Tagged With: non custodial parent, photography, talented single mom, third wish photo

God, Give Me Your Love for ALL Others

August 9, 2011 By April 4 Comments

I recently read a quote that said, “I’m a single mom. What’s your super power?” With a show of hands, how many of you resemble that remark?!? It is the hardest thing I think I have ever done, in part because the weight of the task has such far reaching and long lasting implications for a completely innocent child. A single parent has to fill every role in the home with their children, a job that was designed for two people to handle. We have double the stress, double the worry, double the lack of time and lack of sleep, double the responsibility, half the amount of income-at best, no help with sick days or missing work because of the children and the list could go on and on.

But one of the most difficult things to deal with is an ex that is less than desirable to get along with, financially irresponsible and never puts their responsibility of being a dad first. Unfortunately, most single parents do not have a good relationship with their ex or the extended family for various reasons. In my case, I got along with all of the extended family because for the most part, they sided with me in the divorce. But like most families and friends, because they were his family we still lost touch eventually out of loyalty to my ex. But you can’t NOT deal with the dad if he’s there in any measure.

I have been divorced for almost 13 years now. And communicating with my ex has only recently gotten better, within the past year or so. We actually spoke for over an hour on the phone yesterday and I was able to witness to him and tell him about the love of God. This has only been the second time in all these years I have been able to bring that up with him. I was so grateful and humbled by the opportunity. You see, I have problems just like everyone else, big ones sometimes. The only difference between me and the next person is my faith in God.

My ex feels so bad about himself, lacking in confidence and esteem, from wrong choices he’s made his whole life. He feels guilty and continually beats himself up with his thoughts and the things he speaks about himself. I got the opportunity to share a little bit about how he is not the problem, his choices and actions are the problem. I told him not to talk about himself that way and share about how the power of life and death is in the tongue. At one point in the conversation he said something like I was a better person than him and he always knew it. I was always nice, kind, giving and forgiving…

But the truth is, I’m not. I am an imperfect mess! I shared with him some of my imperfections, just like his, and that those traits were my natural inclinations. The only difference between me and him was the love of God. God makes the difference even when I don’t want to. Because of His perfect gift of love I am able to make a better choice in a confrontation with him. I am able to keep my tongue in check around my son and not say anything negative about his father to him. Trust me when I say, it is only the love, grace and mercy of an Almighty God that would keep me in check with these types of issues.

There are many parents out there with much worse stories. Families are still going through difficult times, divorces, court dates, visitation fights, financial struggles, the loss of jobs, and parenting hard times all around. Each and every one of us are imperfect and need a safe harbor to return to. I speak from experience when I say the greatest source of peace, love and patience is the Heavenly Father.

In 1 Corinthians Paul is addressing the church in Corinth. The church is struggling with their outside environment and how corrupt it had become. They were feeling immense peer pressure to succumb to this lifestyle. Paul writes about issues in the church, how to treat people in the church that are in sin, how to unify the church body, proper worship in the church and other issues to teach Christians how to behave in their society and as Christ followers in their church. It’s no coincidence that amongst all the issues of strife Paul deals with in Corinthians, one of the last things he teaches on is love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails……But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13-13

Before Paul talks about prophesying and using spiritual gifts to edify and reach others for Christ, he teaches them what love is and what love isn’t. And at the close of the passage, he says, “and now these three remain: faith, hope and love…” Faith is the foundation or our relationship with Christ and of the message of Christ to the world. Hope is the attitude and never wavering focus of setting our eyes on the prize of knowing what God has in store for those with faith. But even after such a great thing as faith, Paul says love is even greater. Love is UNSELFISH service to others. Love shows you care regardless of opinion, absent of your own judgment of someone. Love is faith in action. The Great Commission gives Christians the charge to GO! Love is the action of us reaching a hurting world.

I know it isn’t easy when you are dealing with someone who ignites such a strong stirring of emotion. Our children are our hearts. We want to protect them, nurture them, give them a better life and opportunities that what we had and how we feel we have failed them. A parent’s love is immeasurable and irrational. And it’s not even the greatest love. Imagine how much more God loves us….ALL of us. His action of love toward us was to give His son as a sacrifice so that we might come to know Him.

We may not ever put the broken family pieces back together on this Earth. And in spite of the difficulty you may be having with an ex spouse or whoever it is that is causing such turmoil in your life, God loves them, too. They are the same broken vessel you once were and deserve God’s mercy, grace and love just as much as you or I. God can restore your family, if not here then in eternity. Would you be willing to make the same sacrifice He did and lay down your anger, bitterness, resentment, and hurt and show love and mercy toward them? Show them God.

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Featured, The Absent Parent Tagged With: 1 Corinthians love, Faith, love, love your ex husband, single mom issues

Father’s Day

June 19, 2011 By April Leave a Comment

Today is a special day for most families, honoring the dad’s in their lives. For some, it’s about honoring the male role models in their lives. A lot of you have hopefully had the opportunity to grow up with your dad full time. Some of us, me included, weren’t blessed in that way. As I grow older I think about certain things in a whole new light. You know the saying that goes something like, “The hard stuff you went through as a kid helped make you the person you are today. So what’s to regret?” I believe that more and more as time passes.

See, my dad was an alcoholic. My step mom, brother and sister were around him all the time. They bear the burden of living with alcoholism on a daily basis. I will never know what that was like. And I will probably never be able to truly sympathize with them when they are going through emotional times thinking about the past. I only saw that side of my dad a few times. And just those brief moments were almost more than the mind and soul can bear thinking about.

Even though it was hard growing up only getting to see my dad and my ‘other’ family on scheduled ‘visitations’, I can’t imagine how hard it was on them when I wasn’t around. My step mom told me one time that he was usually on good behavior when I was around. Not that he didn’t love and care for any of us any less than the other and didn’t care how he acted around them; it probably had more to do with the fear of what would happen to visitation rights retaliation than anything else.

I was going through other things growing up back home and my step mom must have known how awful it would be for me psychologically to deal with seeing dad that way, too. In one way or another my step mom has always been one of the guardian angels in my life. My dad told me one time that she was one of the best friends I would ever have, and he was exactly right. This is one of the many blessings I can appreciate from my dad. Other gifts from my dad are my stubbornness, my intelligence, my never give in and never give up attitude, my big heart and my generosity. Those were characteristics of my father when he wasn’t drinking. And those things I will always carry with me and am forever grateful for.

I pray for this generation of kids that are growing up without fathers or with fathers that aren’t the best role models. Too many times people make selfish choices-whether they care what is right or wrong really doesn’t matter because the outcome of the decisions is the same. Someone always gets hurt, usually someone innocent. There is hope for these children and yourself if you have been in this position.

A friend of mine, Amy, another wonderful mom I know who recently got married again. To me, Amy exemplified a truly godly woman going through a divorce, and I had been divorced for years when I met her! Her attitude and spirit were one I could only pray to achieve. And she has two beautiful little angels to care for. A few years after her divorce she met Paul. They dated a few years and everyone knew one day they would get married. So we weren’t surprised when he FINALLY proposed But we were surprised one day when she announced on Facebook that they were getting married THAT DAY by saying, “Today is a beautiful day for a wedding.”

Aside from the usual comments from friends about them keeping it a secret and wanting to be around just family for their blessed event, you would not believe the positive response and the hand of God that surrounds Paul & Amy’s union. They give me hope. Hope in marriage again. Hope in knowing that God really does care about what I want/need as an individual and as a mom. Hope in the form of a reminder that God is my Father and my son’s Father, always. He will never fail us, forsake us or forget about us. He loves us no matter what and will never leave.

I try my best to have good, male role models in and around my son to interact with as much as I can. But I, nor any replacement, can ever fill the void he feels for a father. The picture above of Paul holding his step son is such an emotional one for me. Because of how Amy continues to handle being divorced from her children’s father, her son is completely trusting of the new male role model in his life. Who but a child, untouched by the usual hurt accompanied by divorce, could have this much trust and love for someone that isn’t their parent?

I want to encourage you today if you are hurting on Father’s Day instead of celebrating with those you see all around you reminding you of what you don’t have: you can be blessedly taken care of by Jehovah Jireh, the Almighty Provider, God. He can take whatever situation you are in and give you a new heart about it if you let Him. I cannot for the life of me see anything negative about my situation. I am truly blessed. I know the memories I have, I remember the stories, I can still hear the words and feel the pain….but I cannot dwell on that. God has truly blessed me with the best attitude allowing me to be able to move on from hurt! God can heal and fill your soul better than man ever could.

My dad passed away this past December. And today I am sadder than I have been in several years. We were never really close. But he was still daddy, you know? It’s hard to believe that larger than life man doesn’t physically exist anymore. It’s too surreal… Now, more than ever, I rely on my Heavenly Father to fill those shoes for me. I pray today that myself and others like me who have either lost their fathers, their fathers are away, or for those who don’t know who their father is, will be comforted and Almighty God will reach down His huge, loving arms and cradle us in His love today. Your Heavenly Father loves you today and always. Use your prayer line and call on Him today!

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Featured, Friendship, The Absent Parent Tagged With: absent fathers, alcoholism, family issues, Father's Day, single parent father's day

Family Night Dinner: Crawfish

June 5, 2011 By April Leave a Comment

I let the 14 year old’s creative, culinary juices flow and this is his contribution to family night.

And may I say…he did excellent!

The boil started with a pan of water and approximately 1 tbsp of Old Bay Seasoning.

Once the water was boiling we added the crawfish to the delicious sauna.

We also put on jalapeno corn and saffron rice.

The corn couldn’t be simpler.

I used drained, canned corn, 1 tsp olive oil, 1 tsp butter and one bunch

of spring onion tops with about ten splashes of green tobasco.

Getting all greased up

We decided to peel all the tails at once and kept them warm in a glass jar with hot butter

until we were finished and plated everything.

I know they are ugly…but sooo good! That’s a face only a mother could love…

Even at 14, they still play with food!

Voila!

The rice was a money maker at Publix, the canned corn was free during Italian days at Publix and the crawfish was only $4 at Food Lion. So even a special meal for two can be a frugal and fashionable feast!

Do you like crawfish? What is your favorite crawfish or seafood recipe?

Filed Under: Family, Featured, Food & Fitness, Recipes Tagged With: crawfish, family supper, family time, teaching kids to cook

DIY Family Safety Series Part 2

April 9, 2011 By April Leave a Comment

We don’t want to even think about what could happen to our children or anyone in our family. That being said, we also cannot live naively and not prepare to protect ourselves and our children. Part two of our family safety series will focus on personal safety in regards to physical attacks on our persons and possessions. We have to be ever vigilant in our care of our children and our homes.

As a single mom, the risks are sometimes greater than homes with more than one parent. There are a few creative ideas you can implement to help yourself and your children not be as much of target.

Go to Goodwill and buy the biggest most rugged pair of men’s boots you can find and place them by the front door in obvious view. Granted this will not deter the normal neighbors who see you and your children coming and going with no male presence. But it could deter a prowler who doesn’t belong near you or your kids.
Carry a body alarm or whistle.
Don’t place bushes, shrubs and trees near windows inside or outside of your home. This gives burglars/attackers potential hiding places.
When walking to your vehicle, keep your keys in your hand with the longest key grasped between your thumb and forefinger pointing outward like a weapon. If someone comes at you from behind, reach behind and stab your attacker in the eye or anywhere else on the face you can reach.
Download the Silent Bodyguard App for iPhone. The Silent Bodyguard is a mobile app that sends an SOS distress signal with GPS coordinates to immediately reach potential rescuers without alerting any onlookers.

The Boy Scouts of America have The Three R’s of Personal Safety and Protection to fend off Sexual Abuse:

1. Recognize situations that place you at risk of being situations that place you at risk of being molested, how child molesters operate, and that anyone could be a molester.

2. Resist unwanted and inappropriate attention. Resistance will stop most attempts at molestation.

3. Report attempted or actual molestation to a parent or attempted or actual molestation to a parent or other trusted adult. This prevents further abuse and helps to protect other children. Let the child know he or she will not be blamed for what occurred.

Teach children to trust their instincts. Explain that if they ever feel scared or uncomfortable, they should get away as fast as they can and tell an adult. Tell them that sometimes adults they know may make them feel uncomfortable, and they should still get away as fast as possible and tell another adult what happened. Reassure children that you will help them when they need it.

Teach your children to be assertive. Make sure they know that it’s okay to say no to an adult and to run away from adults in dangerous situations.

Encourage your children to play with others. There’s safety in numbers!

For the sake of being prepared, what should you do if you find yourself in the worst case scenario?

Keep a current, complete physical description of your child, current photograph, fingerprints, current medical records and dental charts, and sample DNA in a child safety kit. You can get a free Child Safety Kit mailed to you from Polly Klaas. Or you can download a kit here.

If you or anyone you know is in the awful position of realizing their child is missing, follow these guidelines:

1. Immediately report the child missing to local law enforcement.

2. Ask law enforcement to enter the child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Persons File.

3. Limit access to the home until law enforcement arrives and has the opportunity to collect possible evidence.

4. Give law enforcement investigators all information on the child including the child safety kit contents and the circumstances related to their disappearance.

5. Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)

If you or anyone you know has information regarding child pornography, child molestation, child prostitution and/or the online enticement of children, log onto www.cybertipline.com. This is the NCMEC tip website.

For further resources regarding the protection of children from abduction and exploitation, go to these websites: