Today is a special day for most families, honoring the dad’s in their lives.  For some, it’s about honoring the male role models in their lives.  A lot of you have hopefully had the opportunity to grow up with your dad full time.  Some of us, me included, weren’t blessed in that way.  As I grow older I think about certain things in a whole new light.  You know the saying that goes something like, “The hard stuff you went through as a kid helped make you the person you are today.  So what’s to regret?”  I believe that more and more as time passes.

See, my dad was an alcoholic.  My step mom, brother and sister were around him all the time.  They bear the burden of living with alcoholism on a daily basis.  I will never know what that was like.  And I will probably never be able to truly sympathize with them when they are going through emotional times thinking about the past.  I only saw that side of my dad a few times.  And just those brief moments were almost more than the mind and soul can bear thinking about.

Even though it was hard growing up only getting to see my dad and my ‘other’ family on scheduled ‘visitations’, I can’t imagine how hard it was on them when I wasn’t around.  My step mom told me one time that he was usually on good behavior when I was around.  Not that he didn’t love and care for any of us any less than the other and didn’t care how he acted around them; it probably had more to do with the fear of what would happen to visitation rights retaliation than anything else.

I was going through other things growing up back home and my step mom must have known how awful it would be for me psychologically to deal with seeing dad that way, too.  In one way or another my step mom has always been one of the guardian angels in my life.  My dad told me one time that she was one of the best friends I would ever have, and he was exactly right.  This is one of the many blessings I can appreciate from my dad.  Other gifts from my dad are my stubbornness, my intelligence, my never give in and never give up attitude, my big heart and my generosity.  Those were characteristics of my father when he wasn’t drinking.  And those things I will always carry with me and am forever grateful for.

I pray for this generation of kids that are growing up without fathers or with fathers that aren’t the best role models.  Too many times people make selfish choices-whether they care what is right or wrong really doesn’t matter because the outcome of the decisions is the same.  Someone always gets hurt, usually someone innocent.  There is hope for these children and yourself if you have been in this position.

A friend of mine, Amy, another wonderful mom I know who recently got married again.  To me, Amy exemplified a truly godly woman going through a divorce, and I had been divorced for years when I met her!  Her attitude and spirit were one I could only pray to achieve.  And she has two beautiful little angels to care for.  A few years after her divorce she met Paul.  They dated a few years and everyone knew one day they would get married.  So we weren’t surprised when he FINALLY proposed   But we were surprised one day when she announced on Facebook that they were getting married THAT DAY by saying, “Today is a beautiful day for a wedding.”

Aside from the usual comments from friends about them keeping it a secret and wanting to be around just family for their blessed event, you would not believe the positive response and the hand of God that surrounds Paul & Amy’s union.  They give me hope.  Hope in marriage again.  Hope in knowing that God really does care about what I want/need as an individual and as a mom.  Hope in the form of a reminder that God is my Father and my son’s Father, always.  He will never fail us, forsake us or forget about us.  He loves us no matter what and will never leave.

I try my best to have good, male role models in and around my son to interact with as much as I can.  But I, nor any replacement, can ever fill the void he feels for a father.  The picture above of Paul holding his step son is such an emotional one for me.  Because of how Amy continues to handle being divorced from her children’s father, her son is completely trusting of the new male role model in his life.  Who but a child, untouched by the usual hurt accompanied by divorce, could have this much trust and love for someone that isn’t their parent?

I want to encourage you today if you are hurting on Father’s Day instead of celebrating with those you see all around you reminding you of what you don’t have:  you can be blessedly taken care of by Jehovah Jireh, the Almighty Provider, God.  He can take whatever situation you are in and give you a new heart about it if you let Him.  I cannot for the life of me see anything negative about my situation.  I am truly blessed.  I know the memories I have, I remember the stories, I can still hear the words and feel the pain….but I cannot dwell on that.  God has truly blessed me with the best attitude allowing me to be able to move on from hurt!  God can heal and fill your soul better than man ever could.

My dad passed away this past December.  And today I am sadder than I have been in several years.  We were never really close.  But he was still daddy, you know?  It’s hard to believe that larger than life man doesn’t physically exist anymore.  It’s too surreal…  Now, more than ever, I rely on my Heavenly Father to fill those shoes for me.  I pray today that myself and others like me who have either lost their fathers, their fathers are away, or for those who don’t know who their father is, will be comforted and Almighty God will reach down His huge, loving arms and cradle us in His love today.  Your Heavenly Father loves you today and always.  Use your prayer line and call on Him today!